By Eve Lynn Kessner
In my 33 years, it feels like I’ve already worn many hats and lived many lives.
Mom. Wife. SoulCycle Instructor. Holistic Nutritionist. Blogger. Just to name a few current “hats.” And on any given day, the priority order shifts all the time. BUT THEY ALL ALWAYS EXIST. And much of what I perceive my job in this world to be is managing expectations on what I’m capable of doing in a day’s time.
I became a mom young. Young for NYC standards, that is. I was 26 when I had my oldest daughter. I was married and between jobs and it was the right time. But it was also really early in my life. And while the rest of my friends forged forward with their career paths and frequented the coolest spots our city has to offer, I read books on breast feeding and creating a toxin-free home.
In those early years I really struggled big time with who I was and who I wanted to be. I felt strongly that it was important to be home with my children in their early years, but I also felt like I was missing out on so much of what I had planned for myself. I became really wrapped up in being a “good mom.” I lived at the playground, made my own nut milk, and prepared chamomile baths for my kids. Being a “good mom” replaced all of everything in my life. I was passionate about it. Self-righteous even. No BPA’s anywhere. No parabens at all. Belly time and cartoons in Spanish.
And I was good at it. But not entirely fulfilled. I needed more. More of me. Not the mom me, but Me me.
And then I struggled more. I struggled with staying home, going back to work, starting new work, part-time, full-time, what could I do after so many years of Mommy-time?? What would it mean to get a nanny and have someone help me raise these children? Would I fail as a “good mom” in order to become a good me?
But I knew that unless I was happy, really truly happy, I couldn’t be a good mom. What then was I telling my children? That one day their happiness would be worth sacrificing? No!
So I decided to follow my passion. Because passionate people radiate good energy. And I wanted my kids to be surrounded by positivity and possibility.
Today my life looks like a crazy house most days. The dishes sit in the sink sometimes. I’m almost always late. I go to H&M to buy my kids camp towels when the laundry hasn’t gotten done. And dinner is often ordered in. But we are happy! Living an unexpected, non-traditional life as a family of four in Brooklyn. Because happiness is the key to, well… happiness.
Do not let yourself be defined. Define yourself! Live your life the way it works for you. Titles and expectations are worthless. Forge your own path. Live your own life. Your kids will thank you for it!
Eve Lynn Kessner is mom to two little girls, Avital and Bar, ages 6 and 3, a sometimes vegan, a holistic nutritionist, and focused on living a organic, chemical-free, natural life. “Making our home and our diets safe, healthy, and chemical free is no longer a goal, but a necessity. It feels good, clean, and ethical,” she says. Eve studied at The Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and counsels clients on food and lifestyle choices, helping them make cleaner, more responsible decisions. Eve is also a SoulCycle instructor, and an all-around dreamer and believer.